Dear TF2 Lobby,
You know, there are more maps than cp_badlands and cp_granary. How many times can you play the same people on the same map before you get bored? I don't know about you but I can't just play the same map over and over and over; I need some diversity! (The exclamation point means that I'm showing more emotion so you can tell that I really care about this) What irks me just as much is that you'll sit in the main lobby and complain about the lack of lobbies and then, when I make a lobby and since I have other things to spend money on besides TF2 like food and drinks and school and I can't afford to spend the $30 a month to get you your 1000 FPS Chicago NFO that runs 24/7 Badlands just so you will play a damn lobby.
As you can imagine, being a student as well as a gamer limits the amount of free income I have to spend on making lobbies for you. My priorities as a student go school stuff, booze, fried chicken, THEN TF2. If you check out my steam purchases, you'll see that I don't have very many games and that most of the ones that I own were purchased on sale BUT I DIGRESS. Valve provides us with somewhere between 20 and a lot of servers for lobbies. I don't know why you can't deal with the 90 ping. I'm in New Hampshire; I have to deal with the 20 degrees, wind chill, and higher ping than you and I play just fine.
On top of that, try some of the quality 1st and 3rd party maps available out there. I'm a big fan of freight, gullywash, coldfront, obscure, and my favorite map of all, koth_garbageday. Don't deny it, you love it, too.
Yours in the sense that we both blame the lag for our incompetence,
dubel_07
Dear Backburner Haters,
WHAT NOW?! You told me I was a noob for using the backburner, that it was a cowards weapon! The pyro was originally intended to be an ambush class, so I was shocked when I was ridiculed for using the backburner. I couldn't believe it! I mean, it's shaped LIKE A DRAGON--that's so badass!
The latest update has made the Backburner a far more widely accepted weapon in the pyro's arsenal, hopefully something that will not be met with the same harassment when I use it in games. The subtraction of 5% of it's damage for a reflect capability is something that is bittersweet, sacrificing pure damage for at-most 4 reflects in a single at-capacity flamethrower clip. Admittedly, I'm awful with reflect kills--I would have a hard time reflecting a stationary target moving at the speed of a legless boulder, so I was a little bummed at the damage reduction. When coming from behind, the 10% damage increase means you're doing 330% from the rear which, in competitive games and comp-style pubs, is crucial as there are no random critical hits.
While the reflect feature is awesome and a key part of what the pyro has become, I can't be helped from not noticing the drawbacks to what the class used to be. I miss when the pyro class needed to get behind or flank the enemy to even get near someone. Sure, the Degreaser has "revolutionized" the pyro and sure, the air blast is great, but the pyro used to require a different kind of skill from the other classes; more along the lines of the spy than along the lines of, say, the heavy classes such as demo, soldier, heavy and engie (if you're on my team). The pyro needed to be sneaky, get behind the enemy, mash 8 or 9 bound phrases like "What? Magikarp is evolving?!" and "Wanna see a magic trick?" then rush in and light everything on fire like the end of Red Dragon. Now, it's more of an attack class, able to take on many other classes in even deathmatch.
Anyway, the recent change to the pyro has more or less solidified the place of the pyro class as a heavy class--or at least a heavier class, making him a contender in the battle for the ubercharge to the point.
Yours in the sense that we both secretly love Magikarp,
dubel_07
Dear "Noob Medics",
I will be the first to admit that playing the medic class is very easy. Don't get me wrong, there is a high skill ceiling; you're very vulnerable for most of your life, only able to take 150 damage (140 if you're an idiot--another letter, another time), making you very limited in combat and pretty much every other aspect of the game. But my point is that in order to get points as a medic; in order to help your team, you need only press 2 buttons: the 2 key and the left-click. There is no place for a medic that doesn't heal. With the syringe gun, you can put out at most 400 damage per clip. Now, that may seem like a large number but I assure you that it is not. This implies that you were able to get close enough to the enemy to unload 40 rounds into his abdomen, that he did not notice you, and that no other teammates of theirs was able to see you and stop you from killing them in one of the most humiliating ways in the game.
When somebody calls for a medic, it's typically because they're either injured or they're an idiot; which has luckily been patched recently so that equalizer-equipped soldiers can't spam the call because they don't possess the necessary intelligence to scroll the wheel on their right hand or hit the q, 1, or 2 buttons on their left hand side. Either way, when somebody calls for a medic, it is your job to go to them, hit the 2 key if you are an idiot and don't already have the medigun or kritzkrieg out and are healing something, and left-click on them.
It's that simple, yet time after time I go into a server and I injure myself doing something awesome and call for medic. Sometimes, that something awesome entails missing a whole bunch of rockets, unloading my shotgun into a wrangled sentry that has 2 engies on it, and trying to shovel the medic before getting torched by some pyro that doesn't know that I don't like being on fire so I run back to my medic and hit the "Medic!" key and stand there in front of the medic as he lets me die. Now, I don't stand there and just wait, I call for help both with the in-game voice function and over the microphone. I address you by name. I use a high-pitched voice so you CLEARLY know it is I who is calling for the soothing laser of the doctor to pass over my body and heal my wounds and large holes made by bullets and knives and shovels and bazookas. I jump around like some sort of possessed child and yet you watch me burn. Y U NO HEAL ME?
Yours in the sense that we've all been pissed and pulled out the ubersaw/bonesaw and rushed the entire enemy team laughing maniacally and shouting various obscenities,
dubel_07
Comments
Not meaning to offend here, but this article sounds like it was written by some pretentious hipster. I appreciate the effort that went into it (hell, I skipped out on my "articles" halfway through the season), and I love the fact that new content is going up, regardless of it's style.
However, I will agree with Slin on point #1: TF2Lobby is designed for new players, and Badlands/Granary (and Snakewater, IMO) are some of the most balanced and well-paced maps in competitive TF2 at the moment. New players should be playing the good maps to get used to the learning curve, as it gives them a good foundation of basic tactics and flow of the game, as opposed to throwing them into choke-focused maps like Coldfront or "bomb during every possible situation" maps like Viaduct.
The other two "letters" are more or less based on pure opinion, so I can't really make any proper argument. I like where the Pyro is now - decent ambush ability, but is a semi-viable option as a replacement of a Soldier. The pyro can get a lot more use nowadays, and I like that, as I like a bit of diversity in the game. The Medic complaints, however, simply stem to bad players. Except for the "I will be the first to admit that playing the medic class is very easy" part, I can agree, because it's easy to agree that a bad Medic can lead to a bad experience in 6v6. Although the word "idiot" was used pretty liberally
I hope you take some advice for future articles - and please don't let this discourage you from doing so. We all love you so dearly.
Regards, with love,
Sway
Let's be honest: there's too much Granary and Badlands on TF2 lobby. I get your point, but it neglects the fact that many new players believe those two maps are the only legitimate choices to actually get players in a lobby.
And how many times do you survive with under 10 health? Most of the time the enemy will succeed in taking you down if/when they go for you. A medic is hardly being an idiot if they choose to use the Vita Saw, being able to save up to 20% of the uber is very useful and is not to be sniffed at.
Quote:
Since when? The pyro is a situational utility class, I wouldn't call it a heavy class in the slightest.
Each one of these probably could have been their own thing.
1. tf2lobby is designed to give new players a taste of comp TF2. thus, new players will likely want to play the two most standard maps in comp TF2. in addition, you can't get the hang of it in just 5 games. You need to play those maps multiple times because it helps you figure out how the game mechanics and gameflow works when you play on a map you're familiar with. it's sort of like playing sc2 over and over on metalopolis. once you learn the map and know it's nuances, you can learn how the other game mechanics work because you know they're not influenced by other map factors. besides, it's your fault for staying and playing on the site designed for new players. if you really wanted to try new maps and get more serious, you'd join a team.
the second point you make follows the first. we all know that valve servers are of bad quality, so players will likely want to play on valve maps. i am reminding you that TF2 Lobby is designed for new players, so how do you expect new players to own servers? they need someone else to make it for them.
get it? sheesh.
2. i don't even understand what you're saying here. if you're a pyro fan, you should enjoy the buff that valve gave you. if you're not a pyro fan, then you should complain about it. what you're doing is complaining about a buff. also, if you wanted to play an ambush class, you'd play spy.
signed,
confused reader
3. once again, i'm not so sure you realize what you're saying. according to you, the medic is the easiest class in the game because you only have to click two buttons: left click and right click. do you not realize that there are other classes that only have to click ONE button ? by your logic, shouldn't scout and soldier be the easiest classes in the game?
signed,
confused reader who now questions your intelligence
also shorten your article up a bit. you took over the front page.
[edit] @ #4 actually what i meant was it wasn't cut off properly. its fixed now though.
Which is scary.
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